Teaching Kids About Radical Empathy With Bryan Saint-Louis

Children must not only be taught how to maintain a healthy body but how to nurture their hearts and minds as well. Bryan Saint-Louis, a passionate advocate for children’s wellness, uses a unique approach to teach kids about physical fitness and radical empathy. In this conversation with Katie Harward, he discusses the importance of raising children to be emotionally intelligent and empathetic to fight the biggest setbacks of their young lives. Bryan also explains how parents should guide kids in navigating peer pressure, finding the right support systems, and discovering their deeper sense of purpose.

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Teaching Kids About Radical Empathy With Bryan Saint-Louis

I'm honored to be joined by someone who's work is transforming the way we think about youth development and that is Bryan Saint-Louis. Bryan is a passionate advocate for children's wellness, leadership, and emotional growth. His unique approach blends physical fitness, mentorship, and mental health, awareness to help kids build self-reliance, self-worth, and a strong sense of purpose.

In this episode, we are exploring a big question that every parent, educator, and caregiver should be thinking about, how do we teach kids to believe in themselves even when it's hard? This is something I struggle with. How can fitness and movement empower not just bodies but minds and our child's hearts? What does it mean to raise children who are emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and strong enough to face setbacks?

We will also talk about practical ways to help children navigate peer pressure, find their voice, and connect with their deeper sense of purpose all while building strong support systems at home and in the community. Whether you are a parent looking for fresh ideas or an educator on the front lines, or someone who just cares deeply about children. You are in the right place. Let's jump into this powerful and inspiring conversation with Bryan Saint-Louis.

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The Concept Of Radical Empathy

Bryan, I am so excited for you to be on the show. You have so much expertise in the field of teaching parents how to be there and show up for their kids and teaching kids how to be more empathetic, how to be better kids and future adults. Can you, Bryan, go into a little bit about your work, what you do and what brings the best and biggest reward to you?

I love the work that I do, the work of radical empathy that's able to bring in this concept of and I like to make this line, basically, it's to radically love. It means to lift others up intentionally. A lot of the work that I do is on supporting spaces, people, and culture to have a space where we are lifting others up where we're supporting each other. We're building the mindset of the whole space knowing that we are here for one another rather than just a competitive mold where I'm just here for me and I don't care about the person next to me.

With that reward aspect, a lot of being able to see people take on. I'll give you an example. I was in Singapore and I'm going to be going back again. I was working and sharing the message of radical empathy. A few months later, I had a student that reached out to me and said, “I'm doing my senior program and project on radical empathy. Is there anything that you can do to give me some information on it, X, Y and Z?”

My best reward is seeing people take on radical empathy and make it into their own because this is not mine. I'm just a messenger. I just want more people to learn about how they can connect and make actionable compassionate actions to make a difference in people's lives. Honestly, from then on, it's there for the taking and people can move forward with that.

Again, I love the work that I'm doing but the greatest reward is people being able to see this and say, “Yes, I want to be empathetic. I want to build up the way that I see others. I want to encourage people. I want to be an inspiration with my life, my words, and my actions.” That would be the greatest reward for me for sure.

Teaching Kids To Be More Empathetic

I love that. Now, people say that there's no checklist and no book on how to be a good parent. A lot of parents don't know how to cultivate the quality of empathy in their children especially in the fast-paced world. Bryan, what would you say is a good way to teach your children how to be more empathetic?

The thing is, you're right. There's so many people who when they look at this the parenting act. I got two children and they're with me. I hope they don't distract us. The best thing that I can ever share because, for instance, now I'm working on the certificate program on how to develop empathy. I'm hoping to push that out to multiple different schools, organizations, and people who work with youth, parents, or whatever the case may be.

The best possible way for you to be, or to develop empathy within your children and I'll make this simple. Leadership is caught, not taught. The caught not taught method basically means these kids are watching every single thing that you do, the way that you talk to them, you interact with your spouse, way you choose to be around other people, speak words of the degradation towards other individuals or the way that you uplift others individuals. They watch, see, and take in everything.

The best way for us to develop empathy in our kids is for them to see that developed empathy within us. Now, they're just modeling exactly what we're doing. They're saying, “I'm going to help somebody this way. I'm going to speak to someone this way.” Children are sponges. They take on so much but they're also putting out so much, too. It's not this fancy leadership training that you need to go through and, this helps.

As you said, not many people know how do develop empathy. Everyone says empathy is important but not everybody knows how to develop it. That's why I created the certificate program but at the end of the day, the best way for me to show kindness or for my child to exhibit kindness and learn kindness is to see that from me. The best way for my child not to curse in front of a whole bunch of other individuals is for him not to be hearing it from me. They take on everything that we have. It's so key that if we want to see the care, the compassion, and the actionable differences within our children, we have to be exhibiting that model leadership through that at home in the first place.

I see it like in this world where it's all self-help or self-care. What do you do for your yourself? How do you help yourself when you're in a down mood? What are these things that you process? How do you do it? It's so developed on being by yourself, focusing on yourself, and making yourself a better person. It sounds like you resonate with this solution as well is, the more that you give and the more that you help others out. You learn so much more and it's more fulfilling for yourself. You're growing and your doing self-help by helping other people. Showing that to our kids is so pivotal in this world.

I love and agree with that, for sure.

Helping Kids Develop A Growth Mindset

Now, you also emphasize the importance of the growth mindset. This is something that I work on with my two little boys. I have two little ones and one of them has a little bit harder time with the growth mindset or trying to do hard things. I was excited to get on this episode to ask you what are some the practical ways that parents can help their kids with developing this growth mindset?

I've done teachings on this. I show different like works with students on how to develop a growth mindset, but again as you mentioned, developing it at home, I still go according more so to the concept of how you are at home also shows out to your children. The certain words that you use like, for instance, if you start saying words like, “I can't. I can't do this. This is hard for me to do this.” Your kids again pick up on a lot of the words that you also use.

How you act at home shows out to your children.

My children don't hear me say I can't. In fact, every single time that they say I can't, I show them. I show actionably them that they can do that thing. For instance, my kid said, “I can't open up this muffin.” You believe that. Now, I hold it in his hand and he's able to go through the process of getting that done. Afterwards I tell him, “You say you can't or you can?” He goes, “I can.” I don't want to make things hard for people and that's a whole thing with any type of development. We want to simplify things. If you start hearing your children, use terminologies like I can't. We're not switching it. We're reframing the viewpoint. We're going to I can. We're looking at the things that they have a hard time doing.

Simplicity in how we make things very connected with that. I don't want to try to have them sit down and learn about growth mindset. That's not going to work. You build it out on your every single day lessons of just life. You call it life lesson. When I if my child is constantly saying I can't. Again, I'm reframing the way that he's seen that and I'm giving him the terms. I'm also showing him how he can.

For instance, there's times where I see my kids going through a difficult time with something. I know that the parent in us want to give them the tools right away. We want to say, “Let me help you.” I would rather them go through that difficulty realizing that they can get it done. Sometimes, it might take time but time doesn't equate unsuccess. Time doesn't mean failure. It just means I have to develop it. I have to take the work and process it properly and then I'm able to get the things done. Instead of saying, “Only because I can't get it done in this time frame that means I'm going to be unsuccessful.”

It's so important that when parents are working through this, they allow their children to fail. They allow their children to have mess ups. We talked about how kids stand up and fall down all the time when they're learning how to walk. You can't learn how to walk without getting up and falling down. It's pretty much the same thing in any other aspect of our lives. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to fall down.

What we do as parents is create a mitigated safe zone, so that they can fall in the safety of the environment, but they can still fall without now falling overboard. They're just falling on the platform but again, we're allowing them to still go through the process without them hurting themselves in that way. The whole growth mindset allows them to have opportunities to work through mess up and try something new. When you're cooking with them, let them be. I know it takes time and takes a little bit longer but just do it.

Fostering Growth Mindset And Physical Fitness

When they're cracking eggs and I'm like, “The shows over.” You're right. You say a lot, too, when you talk about physical fitness and how we can create more and foster that growth mindset in teaching kids. How do you develop between the two? How do you use physical fitness to teach your kids this?

I've created a fitness empowerment program and that's just all around having a strong resilient mind and then go through physical fitness. That's all it is. With fitness, sports, and training, you can't fake that. The only way for you to be able to grow and to enhance is to go through the process of breaking down for any type of muscle development. You're breaking down the muscles and it has to repair. That's the only time for it to grow.

Again, these are the times where we're breaking down the walls and our minds. The way I've done the program basically is, for instance, we're doing overcoming challenges. A lot of our training sessions are all about overcoming obstacles. We're doing obstacle training and something of that nature. The physical or the mental component that we're looking to accomplish is manifested through a physical training, but it's the same thing at home.

You don't have to do it with my program. You build your kids to have fitness routines. I have my children run and they're in front of the TV for about twenty minutes. I don't have a big space yet but at their age, they will go through a fitness training. They're with me and they do their push-ups and jumping jacks. Everything that nature. When they get tired, I'm like, “Take a break but right back to it.” Developing that growth mindset and that attitude of learning through difficulty, but we don't stop. We don't hold ourselves back. Let's keep moving forward despite difficulty.

Do not hold yourselves back. Keep moving forward despite difficulties.

I love that. I'm sure you've heard this before. You know Joe Rogan, right? He's one of my favorites, but on his show. He was explaining one time and I'm like, “I resonate and believe in this.” It’s that the people who have had hard childhoods usually come out on top in ways. They're more successful. They know how to push through things. They have that grit, and that's one of the things that he was saying is, we have to let our kids fail a little bit.

Not to the point of figuring out what you're going to eat the next day or how to get to school. Not these hard challenges that a lot of kids face and hardships. It's like, how do we give them a little bit harder of challenges so that they can overcome things and know that they're going to come out, be okay, and they can do it on their own? They're capable of these things. I love that.

Now, a real-world story of something that happens to me and I was thinking about this when you're talking about the physical mindset. My son is in Lacrosse. There are some days he'll be like, “I don't want to play.” He'll just lay on the ground. At that time, I'm like, “Do you want to go home?” Always the answer is, “No, I want to stick through this.” That I feel like is one of the challenges that I have. Sometimes, he's just like, “No, I’m not playing. I'm not going to do it.” Nobody can convince him to play. Do you have any actionable steps that his father and I can take to make sure that he still plays and he helps out his team when they need him?

He says that during the games too?

Yes. He'll lay down and be like, “No, not for me today.”

That's tough. I'm not going to lie.

During that time, I'm like, “Buddy, we were here. Your brother just played.”

I do believe in refreshens. One of my children don't want to do certain things. I always do them options. The option for instance if they want to go out right but they don't want to take their naps. I'm like, “Do you want to go out or do you want to continue to play and have fun at home?” They'll be like, “I want to go out.” We’re going out but this is the option for you. This is what you have to do in order for you to do that. The way that you've already reframed that for him when you told him for instance, “Do you want to go home?” He says, “I don't want to go home.” If you don't want to go home then you have to continue on this path or direction.

The reframing for kids for them to make their own decisions is so crucial because I don't believe in forcing our kids to do certain things. At the end of the day, they have to develop their own mind, consequences, and actions. If he does say, “I don't want to do that.” You'll be like at the end of the day, “If you don't want to do this, then you're not going to be a good teammate which means you can't play on this team.”

If he comes to that conclusion and say, “I do want to be on this team. In order for me to be a good teammate, I have to still play.” Again, giving them that opportunity to reframe instead of telling them what to do, I always believe is a better approach with the child development. When we ask questions, they have the opportunity not to think better instead of just saying, “This is what I want you to do,” and now they only have a one-track mind.

The questions allow them to think through different processes. Already, you're on a good path with that. It's just a matter of continuing to ask those questions to help him develop the answer that he wants. Through that, you can also show him what that looks like because you already know the outcome of those. It's showing him the different outcomes and now he has to figure out the path that he's going to take.

I love that and reframing it too about helping his teammates. It's not just all about you. It's also about what are we going to do and what's the kind thing to do for our teammates because we don't want to leave them hanging. That goes back to the empathy thing as well as teaching them to think about others and not just yourself in that moment. I love that.

Educating Kids About Mental Health And Technology

Now, empathy goes hand in hand with mental health. We know that mental health with technology, especially in our young ones with cyber bullying and social media gaming devices, what that looks like. How do we support our kids in teaching them more about empathy and not hurting other kids with the bullying factor because it's just on the rise? What are your thoughts on that?

It's sad because those are pointed time where we felt like, bullying was coming down, especially on the rise with technology as you said. Bullying and cyberbullying has taken on a different approach and a different way and which things can be done. The more I see kids, they don't look at perspective. They're not looking at what this would mean for the other person's life. Ultimately, a lot of the questions that I like to ask is if this was done to you, how would you feel or how would you like that if it was done to you? It’s a very simple question but I do this with my kids at this young age, too.

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Most of the time, answers are always not within like that. If I'm getting them to understand what the actions that they do with the things that they're saying, they wouldn't want that to be certificated on them. Why now? I'm still asking questions. I'm not giving these strong statements. For instance, I've done a presentation on the N-word and everything of that nature and I don't tell people don't say the N-word. I don't tell people what to do. That's not what I like to come up with in the framework.

Me telling you not to do something, you're probably going to end up doing it more. I don't go to schools presentations. I've done a vaping presentation and drug presentations. I don't tell the kids what to do. I just give them the information through an inspirational way of communicating that. From there, it’s your opportunity to figure out, “This is what I want to continue in. This is what I don't want to continue in.” Again, a different outcome and you figure out, “Is that the outcome that I want from my life?”

With the empathy, we are now putting ourselves in a position where we have to start thinking about the outcomes. Does that child see an outcome for a positive for the person that I'm speaking to or a negative, the way that I'm speaking or handling myself with this person? The second question that they have to ask themselves is, do I care enough? Some of them know the outcome is going to be negative. They don’t realize how negative it will be, but they know it's negative. Do I care? That is going to negatively impact someone.

If I don't care about that, what's inside of me that's causing me not to care about the person that's in front of me. What’s inside of me that's making me want to see them hurt or help them go through pain instead of wanting of being a supportive person or being a person who know don't do anything for you positively or negatively. What makes me want to be a bystander when I know someone's going through trouble and I could do something or stand up for them but I decide to stand back.

A lot of this is just giving them the questions. They go through the process of how they're able to think through that and they have to be very clear and uncover themselves. They have to ask the question and have to develop that mindset for themselves. I'm not answering it for you. I may give you examples but I'm not answering it for you. You have to answer those questions. It puts a mirror on them and now they have to understand what is happening and why they do the things that they do.

If they can be introspective now at a young age, we're talking about building that sense of maturity, emotional, social and everything that nature earlier. For instance, I saw a post talking about men mature in their 40s. I'm like, “Why are we waiting that long or a lot longer than that?” We should be maturing in our twenties. We should be developing stronger in our 30s and then helping the younger generations mature when we're in our 40s. Not going maturation process in our 40s.

If we can help them to get that mirror in front of them earlier on to be introspective of their actions and their words, I see it and we see the shifts in their behavior, their relationships, and ultimately in the themselves because the best person that you need to be empathetic with first has to be you then you're able to give it out to other people.

How Presentation Affects The Message

I love that and it goes back to what you were saying before, kids want to have that control over themselves. If you tell them what to do, they're probably going to go off on their own because they want to be able to make those choices for themselves. It goes back to what you said before. What are some inspirational things that you give to kids like in the concept of not doing drugs or vaping? What are some inspirational things that you would lead them to besides making the choice for themselves? What are some things that you would process for them to make the wisest decisions instead of vaping and doing drugs?

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Two things. This might sound bad but I'm just going to say it anyway. The first is, the person who delivers the information is as important as the information. The reason why I say that is because, for instance, if I'm doing a fitness program and I'm completely overweight. I'm not taking care of myself. How am I supposed to share this information with them for them to believe that fitness is important when I'm clearly not showing that fitness is important to me?

Again, I talked about this with parenting. The way you model yourself is so key to how people see the presentation of the information that you're giving to them. The way that you communicate is so important to how people process the information that you're giving them. You might have the best presentation possible but if you can't communicate that to the person in the way that makes sense to them, all that information goes out the door. They will not care. I've had teachers who told me, “We've talked about this thing to the kids but when you come and speak to them, they listen.”

The reason why they listen is because I share a lot of my stories. A lot of times in education, teachers are not willing to share themselves. I did this when I was a teacher, too. There's a disconnect with the classroom and reality. When I'm able to just be open, candid, authentic, and genuine with who I am, the students know this is someone that I can also do the same, too.

It becomes this bridge instead of this hierarchy where I am up and you must meet me. Instead, I'm coming to where you are no matter where you are in life. You might even be more of me because you’re smart and intelligent. Again, we're meeting each other where we're at then we're going from there. For instance, the whole vaping aspect and drugs. I always teach them outcomes. I don't know if you remember the Dare Program. The Dare program focused on a lot of what happens if you do this, X, Y, and Z. All the negatives.

With what I'm doing in my vaping or drug presentations, I don't focus too much on the negative. I share with them what happens or what they take on. I share with them from their people successful without this. I give them a different framework and different perspective rather than just focusing on what happens if you get drugs. You might be on skid row or be home. They've already heard that. Give them something different to see a shift of perspective.

The person who delivers the information is as important as the information.

Again, how I choose to present myself is very important because the messenger is at times a lot more as important as a message. Second, the shift of perspective has to meet personally pushing more towards a positive. That's why I'm not an anti-bullying presentation. It's radical empathy. It's, how does lifting others up build you as a person rather than focusing on anti-bullying.

We've been hearing anti-bullying presentations for years and it keeps getting worse. What I'm seeing is kids now who are hearing about empathy and they're seeing this as a tool that they can take with them. Anti-bullying is not a tool. It's something that they should not do but now, what's the thing that they should do?

You're teaching them not to do something. Again, when you say don't do this, they're going to navigate towards that way.

Exactly. Give them the tool. What is the thing that they need to get to that place? It's the same thing with the vaping and drugs presentations. I'm giving them other perspectives, what are they taking that they don't have to go towards those in the first place. It can focus on those that will help them to stay focused on track. They won't even go towards that direction at all.

While you're saying that, I was looking back at my childhood. To be completely vulnerable and honest, my dad was an alcoholic growing up, so I had those struggles. One thing my dad did such a good job at as I remember. We were middle class family but he would take me to the big beautiful house houses of the area we lived in.

He said, “Do you want to live in these kinds of houses when you grow up?” I was like, “That's what I want for myself and my kids.” He said, “Go to school.” What's the way to get there? Not teaching me don't do this but here's a valid way to get what you want. Here's the end result. While you were saying that, I'm like, that taught me a lot when my dad did that for me and I will always remember it. It's one of the most pivotal moments of my life. I love that now.

How old were you when he did that?

I want to say around twelve years old. It’s also funny. He did the opposite thing too and it did have an effect on me. In the area that we lived in, there wasn't a ton of homeless because we were in the mountains and the snow in Tahoe, California. I remember if I ever did see a homeless person, he would tell me what it would take to get there and there is a lot of mental health there. There are people that don’t have the choice.

I remember he made it, if you do have the choice, it's when you lead the life of not going to school, taking drugs, doing or getting mixed with the wrong crowd. I remember him teaching me those things and I want to exhibit that in my kids because it did have an effect on me. I did have that empathy for the homeless people and like, “Dad, what do we do to help them?” It still geared me to the life that I wanted and taught me not to do things that would get me there.

Picking on that, too. The way that you talked about how you build that empathy for the kids. That is also a strong practice that if parents can do with their kids at an earlier age, is to get them volunteering and getting involved with things outside of what they focus on. When I was a kid, my mom had me gift wrapping Christmas presents to give to the kids in the children's hospitals. I was always since I was a child started thinking about other people.

Parents should urge their kids to do volunteer work and get involved with things outside of their interests at an earlier age.

If you can get that within them now, it has to be practical, though. I have my kid coming with me when I was in Downtown Calgary and he was handing food, waters and Gatorades. I know some people could say it could be dangerous and such, but I had someone say, “Thanks for even trusting that you can bring your child like around us,” because they just want to feel human again. My child was next to me the whole time. They know they’re in danger but at the end of the day, they're still giving that experience of helping people. I love that you had that experience, too. That's a very practical thing that parents can do, but again, the parents have the character to do with themselves, too.

I love that thought, and teaching people to give. I've attributed my life to giving and I found that if the more that I give, God always blesses me. Anybody can believe in God. You can believe in whatever that you want. It could be karma or energy, but it will always come back tenfold if you just keep on giving and helping others. It uplifts you but it also uplifts everybody else around you and it comes full circle.

Bryan’s Career Journey

Now, I told you a little bit about my story and my vulnerability and that's how I like to connect with people. It’s getting to the core. Bryan, I know that you were involved in education. What brought you into teaching empathy and wanting to teach kids who are our future how to be better humans? What brought you into that?

I was going to school for Theology and I was eighteen years old. It's weird because I said I want to be a pastor since I was like 5 or 6. I said that, but what I was saying, “I want to be like my dad.” I don't think my parents fully caught on to that but that became the track of my life now that I have to be a pastor. Going into school, I did the whole pastoral track and it was great, but when I was 21, I don't know if I mentioned this earlier on, but I started working at the juvie. I was a very judgmental kid. I'll be honest.

I used to look at people certain way. I had a whole story of you before I even got to know you. That kept bothering me that every time I got to know the person my story was wrong. I was like, “Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep trying to see people to certain way without just seeing them for who they are?” I had to learn.

I had, in a sense, a fast track of empathy development while working at the juvenile because you had kids from so many different backgrounds. Kids who’s breaking in entering. Kids who have all types of sexual crime, murders, and anything of a major. On paper, you see a child that's just messed up and screwed up that should be put in prison. When you sit down and talk to them, these are just kids. When you see them sleeping because you have to do your rounds every single day. They're human just like us.

As I was going through this, it taught me that no matter where you may find yourself, there's always a story as to why and that's why a lot of the questions that I asked are why, like, why did we see this? Empathy doesn't enable behavior, and I want to be very clear with that. Empathy doesn't mean now that you're able to do whatever you choose to do. Empathy does not enable. Empathy explains. It allows us to dive deeper into who the person is, why they got to where they are and now, I am able to take the compassionate action, take the radical step, which means let me help you through this and out of this.

I care enough at this point to say I want to help you away from this whole concepts. I like to put into three steps, see, care, and act. I see you, I care enough to make a difference, and then I act on your behalf. Going through that helped me to develop empathy for kids, for youth. Empathy for adults came a little bit later. I'm not going to lie. I’m still working on it. I have so much more patience and time for youth and youth for adults. I'm still working on that but for sure it's something that I'm developing.

When I was working at the school, long story short, I had kids, the same thing. A lot of students who came from different backgrounds. The reasons why they're at my alternative school, the reasons why they wanted to quit high school, and why they needed to be here. Everything, but you listen to stories, you hear them, connect with them, and share with them who you are and where you're coming from then you're just on this journey together.

I had a student that I worked on. I did everything that I can to make sure he got to school. I shared this story in my speeches. Also, to be able to finish high school. He was able to graduate by God's grace. It was amazing just seeing him blossom through that. In that period of time, I lost my daughter. In losing my daughter, I lost my self. When my wife was pregnant, we didn't know anything was happening. We didn't know that was something that was going to happen. The same day that I'm expecting my child to be born, I'm basically planning her funeral.

It was a tough time for me. I showed so much empathy to my kids and my students and they came back. I always say this in my life because they showed me empathy. They bought me a dog. They were like, “I know you can't replace the loss of your daughter, but we want to show you how much we care for you because of how much you've cared for us. We're here for you too, Mr. Saint-Louis.” I was like, “I can't believe that empathy that I gave literally came back and was given back to me.”

That summer when school was down, I was by myself because my wife had gone on a vacation to her best friend's wedding. She told me, “Bryan, you need to come with me.” I was like, “I won't. I have to go through their graduation.” She's like, “Bryan, then I'll stay.” I was like, “I'm fine. Go to the wedding. That's what you need to be there. I'm fine.” Being by myself for that week, I was suicidal and I didn't realize how in pain I was because that happened in March.

I basically spent the rest of that year just funneled into throwing m mind and spirit into work but then when everything was quiet and just by myself. All the thoughts came back. Everything came rushing in one moment and felt like I wanted to quit but it was that dog that just keep my pace and jumping on me. I was like, “I got to take care of this dog.” It was annoying at first. This sense of purpose, happiness, and joy and I started laughing for the first time in a long time. I said very plainly, if those kids didn't give me that dog, I don't know if I'd be here now.

This talk on radical empathy is far beyond just a theoretical concept. This is my lived experience. This is what I've seen since I was 21 in juvie. This is what I've seen in my school. This is the culture that we build. It was a culture of support and lifting each other up. This is what saved me. This is what I continue to do with my own home. To even be honest, my wife will tell me sometimes, “Bryan, you have a lot of empathy for other people. You need to have more empathy for me.” That's real. I will take that on because sometimes we heard the people that are closest to us. In all of it, empathy is not a theory. This is what we can do. This has practical evidence to prove that this can change communities, schools, families, cultures, and society.

We all have this lived experience. Life is short with having kids and having this situation. Thank you for being vulnerable with me on that. It's like, how do we uplift others to have a better life experience because it is short? Our kids have like these timelines, and you’ve noticed. My sister just had a newborn and I'm like, “You're unrecognizable already.” It's like wild to see how fast it's gone. You look at pictures and you're like, “How? I didn't even realize that this time has flown by.”

What you were saying with the dog, you went through this tragic situation and I couldn't even imagine losing one of my children, but you had that connection. That's what people are talking about now. We were talking about how they say, “Go off on your own. Be your own human. Try to figure out yourself.” We're seeing that happiness as the result of that human connection and being close to people and allowing people in and having those vulnerable conversations. We all have those hard things.

Fostering Open Conversations At Home

We all have hard lives and how do we connect? It’s by being able to be vulnerable and letting other people be vulnerable as well and not shutting them for that. That brings me to like the fostering conversations at home. A lot of the times parents let their kids play the games and say, “Don't bug me. Go read your book. Go to your room.” Whatever the case may be because we're different. We're on different fields. We are dealing with work, and they're dealing with school. We think that we connect, but we don't. How would you tell parents to foster the open conversation at home?

I remember I heard one time online and when I tell you this works, it just works. The person said to stop asking your kid how your day was. I was like okay. He said, “Ask them a specific thing that could have happened in the day and watched them sparkle.” When you tell a kid, how was your day? They have two options for the most part or three, great, meh, and bad.

Most of the time, especially as they get older, they don't want to tell you bad because depending on how you build a relationship, bad could either be, “You didn't do anything to make it a better day or what did you do that caused that to be bad?” Sometimes, we do put it on them more than we ask the question. Asking the right question is also very pivotal in opening up a conversation. For instance, instead of me saying, how was your day and now you have to think about nine hours. If I say, what was a conversation that you had? Let's go a little young girl. Let's say they're five years old. I'm going to ask them the question, who was nice to you? They’re like, “This person was not,” or how are you nice to somebody?

When you're ten years old, you're asking different questions, how are you a leader? These are a different way from me to be able to learn about your day without just having this open space because instead of me thinking about nine hours, I can think about maybe nine minutes or nine seconds period of time in my day. It's a lot easier to talk about that than it is to talk about the full day.

Again, this takes intentionality. This takes me caring enough to want to have these conversations with my kids. Too many parents now at this point, as you mentioned, go to your iPad or your computer. It's pretty much I don't have enough bandwidth for you. Please step away from me. I'll throw this question out to you instead or I'll express this out. I've had many parent meetings and almost every parent meeting that I've had, I asked a simple question. How many of you are leaders? How many, out of a room, let's say a hundred, do you think raised their hand?

It would be minimal because they don't want other people to see them as saying that they're leaders. I don't know that's a tricky question.

I'll give you a typical answer. In a room of about 100, I get anywhere between 8 to 12 hand that go up, and 8 to 12 hands typically are not talking about the house or home life being the place where their leaders. Every parent is a leader. Every person is a leader, to be honest, but it’s a different concept that I believe in every parent, especially as a leader. How you show up for your child is going to express itself through that child in so many shapes or form. If you're basically saying that you don't have bandwidth for that kid now, they're not going to have bandwidth for you in the future.

If parents do not have the bandwidth for their children, they will not have the bandwidth for you in the future.

Ninety-five percent of your time with that child is going to be between the ages of 0 and 20. Five percent of the rest of that time, you're going to have with that kid. That's it. If you think that you're going to build them up later when they become adults, you're not going to have time with them when they become adults. I go through this concept of four different stages of parenthood. It's not just stages of childhood like when you're an infant, toddler, preteen, teen or X, Y, and Z.

We have stages of parenthood, too, where you're a nurturer and a teacher. You're their coach and mentor. Those three first steps are typically between the ages of 0 and 18. We have to take time with our kids. My kids barely watch TV without me being in that same room. They watch TV. I'm not going to lie to you but I am there. I'm watching what they're watching. I'm cautious and cognizant of what's happening in their lives. When I say turn off the TV. They're just getting iPads and barely use it to be honest. I’ve only done it because we're about to go on a trip.

When I say turn it off, then it’s off. We're not fighting. We're talking, connecting, and eating together. We try to do as much as we can together to foster this connection because I don't want them to feel like I've never connected with them throughout their childhood and now when they're adults, that's when I want to connect but they won't connect with me because they're not going to know me enough. Let's build that connection deeper now so this becomes a family connection for years and years to come.

Closing Words

I love that. Bryan, thank you so much for your time. I learned so much. Thank you for connecting with me, being vulnerable, and real. You’re going to teach so many people amazing things that I look forward to all of the things that we have in store to work together within the future.

Thank you.

You have fun playing with trucks too with your son.

I will for sure. There’s no question about that.

We'll talk soon.

You too.

Important Links

• ‍Bryan Saint-Louis
• Bryan Saint-Louis on TikTok
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• Bryan Saint-Louis on Instagram

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About Bryan Saint-Louis

Bryan Saint-Louis is an international speaker, seasoned leader, director of Global Leadership Academy, and fitness advocate committed to transforming educational institutions, corporate organizations, and communities through the power of Radical Empathy. His mission is to develop future-ready leaders and inspire positive societal change.

Through lived experience—including profound personal loss—Bryan has come to recognize the transformative power of leadership rooted in empathy, resilience, and intentional action. These lessons continue to fuel his passion and deepen his impact.

Beyond his dynamic keynotes, Bryan leads high-impact workshops and training sessions that equip teams with practical tools for leadership, emotional intelligence, and mindset development.

What sets Bryan apart is his holistic approach and rare ability to command both the stage and the small group setting. He blends mentorship, fitness, spiritual insight, and personal growth to create lasting transformation for individuals and organizations around the world.

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